I could not sleep last night. After just a couple of hours I awoke at 2am and spent the rest of the night with my mind in a turmoil; planning, remembering, regretting and wondering. It is all too easy to become utterly despondent when we do jobs we hate. I hold my employer beneath contempt and often wonder how I fell into such an intractable situation. Where did I go wrong?

As I lay there, I thought of my friends who each has their own battle, their own demons. And I thought of my own situation in a different light. I hate my job but at least I have one. My choice to marry means that I do not feel the loneliness suffered by those whose careers I envy. I have made bad choices but they can be undone, unlike friends who have killed, maimed or been maimed. I have my family complete, my parents are alive and my children are healthy. I am not rich but by no means of the imagination am I poor in comparison to some. There is much to be thankful for. I have a reason to celebrate, to plan and to forge ahead. Not much longer and I can leave the dead end I am in and start to be happy with my working life again, as I should be with every other aspect of my existence.

I guess the ideal start isn’t exactly to go to work after a long night of being sleepless… but then sometimes revelations can be better than rest.